You fucked up you seriously fucked up.
actual photo of maryland
Rise of the Crustaceans.
Category 0.5 kaiju.
Category 0.5 Kaiju
RESET THE EGG TIMER
Well, first I’d stop reading those articles, since they are generally written by the same people who complain about how no one wears hats anymore. (You think I am joking but George Will is a person who exists.) What’s more, “kids these days” is a tale as old as time. Every single generation rails against the habits of the next, decries the death of civilization and good taste, and somehow the world manages to go on spinning.
This t-shirt is very funny, but it’s also sort of humanity’s default position to anything even vaguely unfamiliar.
Here, have some quotes railing against younger generations and the “modern” world, taken from various periods in history. Twenty plus years ago, it would have taken days (if not weeks) of research in a physical library to find them, but instead it took about half an hour using an unimaginably powerful search engine and a vast wealth of metadata.
So I’ll have the tapioca, thanks.
c. 20 BC: from the poet Horace, "Our sires’ age was worse than our grandsires’. We, their sons, are more worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.”
1494: "The word written on parchment will last a thousand years. The printed book is on paper. How long will it last?"
1790:"The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth; and prevented others from improving their minds in useful knowledge. Parents take care to feed their children with wholesome diet; and yet how unconcerned about the provision for the mind, whether they are furnished with salutary food, or with trash, chaff, or poison?"
1856: "Household luxuries, school-room steam-press systems, and, above all, the mad spirit of the times, have not come to us without a loss more than proportionate…[a young man] rushes headlong, with an impetuosity which strikes fire from the sharp flints under his tread…Occasionally, one of this class…amasses an estate, but at the expense of his peace, and often of his health."
1859: “A pernicious excitement to learn and play chess has spread all over the country, and numerous clubs for practicing this game have been formed in cities and villages…chess is a mere amusement of a very inferior character, which robs the mind of valuable time that might be devoted to nobler acquirements, while it affords no benefit whatever to the body.”
1910: on motion pictures, "It is an evil pure and simple, destructive of social interchange, and of artistic effect. Must moving picture shows be given in a dark auditorium, with all the lack of social spirit and the tendency to careless conduct that a dark auditorium leads to?"
1926: "Does the telephone make men more active or more lazy? Does it break up home life and the old practice of visiting friends?”
1933:”The bad manners of all parliaments, the general tendency to connive at a rather shady business transaction if it promises to bring in money without work, jazz and Negro dances as the spiritual outlet in all circles of society, women painted like prostitutes, the efforts of writers to win popularity by ridiculing…the correctness of well-bred people, and the bad taste shown even by the nobility and old princely families in throwing off every kind of social restraint and time-honoured custom.”
1963: from the musical Bye Bye Birdie, "What the devil’s wrong with these kids today?/Kids!/Who could guess the they would turn out that way!/Why can’t they be like we were/Perfect in every way?"
…we’re gonna be okay, anon.
crying because 50 shades of grey
fifty shades of awful
JUST SAY IT
50 Shades is a lot more interesting if you convince yourself that “there” means “my feet”